


I'll Never Let Go

by vanjie_love



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: 1910's, Aidan is a jerk, Alexis wants a good life, F/F, F/M, I suck at tags, Jack-esque Brooke, Rose-esque Vanessa, Titanic Era, Vanessa is hopeful, but brooke is, slowburn, vanessa is not proper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:34:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21585835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanjie_love/pseuds/vanjie_love
Summary: Vanessa, her mother, and her fiancé board the RMS Titanic to cross the Atlantic for a better life, but what she doesn't expect is her "better life" is three decks below her.
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
Comments: 52
Kudos: 37





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you thank you thank you to harlotstarlet for EVERYTHING you've done. Without you, this would not exist.

_ The black horse whipped through the trees. Her black mane blending with the black curls. The free feeling engulfing both bodies.  _

_ “Good job, Shadow!” the rider whoops, as the horse clears a jump over a fallen tree in its path.  _

_ She neighs triumphantly, and her companion pats her neck affectionately. Shadow takes off again, running them into the sun. _

“Vanessa.” 

A stern voice pulls the young girl out of her daydream.

_ “Vanessa. _ Your posture.”

Vanessa rolls her eyes; she doesn’t think her mother saw. 

“Are we there yet?”

“Almost, _darling.”_ Aidan, Vanessa’s- _fiancé_ \- although she likes to use that word loosely, said stiffly.

He wasn’t her fiancé by choice. Well, not Vanessa’s, it was someone’s choice. It was her mother’s choice. But that’s another story. 

Vanessa had to stop herself from rolling her eyes again, so she turned her head towards the window. That’s when she saw it. Vanessa felt her heart skip. Their home for the next six days. The Titanic.

“It’s beautiful,” her mother, Alexis, said, although there was a slight blandness to her voice. 

The car pulled up and the maids got out and started to unload our belongings. Aidan helped Alexis out and then Vanessa.

“Honestly, Vanessa, I don’t understand why you wear such dark colors.” He said, hand resting on the small of my back.

Vanessa shrugged her answer and looked at her dress. It was her favorite. Black lace with red trim. It was the only happiness she could get when wearing this style of dress. Every pull on the strings of the corset was like another lock on her prison cell. Vanessa remained silent. She knew that this move was what was best for them, she knew that the decision was difficult for Alexis. There was nothing left for them here.

“Silky, A’keria!” called the older woman, “you and the other maids are to make sure that our belongings get to our cabin. We are going to board. We will see you on the ship.”

Silky and A’keria nod at Alexis and smile at Vanessa. They were her only friends

“Alexis, may I?” says Aidan, holding his arm out, Alexis takes it. Vanessa strengthens herself to hold back a gag. His fake sweetness is disgusting. 

He really is a terrible human. Vanessa walks behind them, the “obedient” daughter and wife-to-be. _Whatever._

As they walk towards the gangplank, two women in tattered dresses almost run into them. One is taller, reddish brown hair, broad shoulders with a round face. 

_ She’s cute,  _ Vanessa thinks, but the other one makes her breath stop. She’s tall and slim. Blonde with icey colored eyes and sharp features. Vanessa feels her heart race as she watches her mother’s face turn red. 

“How dare you?!” Alexis starts.

Aidan stands there, unbothered, but Vanessa tries to step in.

“Mother, mother!” the shorter girl yells, “it’s okay. It was an accident, right?” she turns to the other girls, “right?”

They both nodded and stammered apologies. My mother narrowed her eyes, exhaled sharply, and continued walking. 

“Sorry about her,” Vanessa says softly, attempting a polite smile. 

Both the girls nodded and then turned and made their way in the direction they were headed. 

Boarding the ship was easy for first class.

_Apparently, if you have money,_ Vanessa thinks to herself, _you can’t cause harm to anyone._ She rolls her eyes at the thought.

“Oh, Mr. and Mrs. O’Hara!”

Vanessa is pulled out of her trance by her mothers booming voice, greeting a couple with two small children in the hallway.

“Ms. Mateo.” Mrs. O’Hara smiled, “We didn’t know you’d be on this voyage.”

“Yes, we didn’t decide nearly as far in advance as we should have but that’s neither here nor there. These are your twins?”

“Yes, they’re six now. Abigail, and Benjamin.”

The twins were running in circles around their mother’s legs. Their mother, who had only just noticed, clapped her hands.

“Children!” she scolded, “behave.”

The twins stopped immediately and looked at their feet.

“Yes mother.” They said in unison.

_Quite boring._ Vanessa thought, but then she noticed a playful gleam in the twins’ eyes as they glanced at the other and thought that maybe all hope wasn’t lost after all. She smiled to herself.

“This can’t be your little girl?” Mrs. O’Hara said, gesturing to Vanessa.

“It is, she’s eighteen now, and engaged! Can you believe it?” Alexis gushed, “this is her fiancé, Aidan.”

Small talk continued for what felt like forever, and finally they were on their way to their cabin once more.

Their cabin on the ship was luxurious. It had a sitting room, a bathroom, a private deck, and three bedrooms. It was beautifully lit, and beautifully decorated. Vanessa was impressed, even though she’d likely never admit it. She made her way to her bedroom where Silky and A’keria were already unpacking her trunks.

“What are you doing?” Vanessa called sternly from the doorway as Silky set one of Vanessa’s portraits next to her bed.

It was a portrait of Vanessa’s late father. One of her most prized possessions.

“Jus’ putting this here. It was next to your bed at home I figured it would be here too.”

“You just figured, did you?” Vanessa tried to keep the sternness to her voice, “you couldn’t wait and ask me? Maybe I wanted it somewhere else?”

Silky gave Vanessa a confused look, but Vanessa couldn’t keep the charade up any longer and she burst into a fit of giggles. Relief flooded Silky’s face as she realized that Vanessa was just messing with her. Silky joined in giggling with Vanessa and so did A’keria.

“What’s this commotion?” Alexis said, pushing into the room.

“Nothing mother.” Vanessa replied, quieting down immediately. She looked down at her feet.

“Hm, right. Well, the ship is about to leave port, and dinner is in two hours. I expect you to be cleaned up and ready. Please don’t wear another black dress, Vanessa. You know Aidan hates them.” Alexis turned, and was out of the room again.

“I expect you to be cleaned up and ready.” Vanessa said, mimicking her mother’s voice.

“Please don’t wear another black dress, Vanessa. You know Aidan hates them.” A’keria joined in.

The three girls resolved into another fit of giggles.

~*~

Vanessa’s _least_ favorite thing in the world was the corset.

“Sorry, V, but we got to do one more pull.” A’keria said and gave the strings of the corset one more tug.

Vanessa felt her insides shift.

“No worries, Kiki, pain is beauty, right?”

A’keria just gave her a sympathetic look. A’keria and Silky helped her into her dinner dress, which was a light and frilly pink- it made Vanessa gag, but it will make Aidan and her mother happy. She looked in the mirror one last time to make sure that her black curls were pinned back perfectly, and she made her way out to the sitting room.

“Aidan, I just feel like her spirit is too free.” Her mothers worried voice rang clear as day from the foyer of the cabin.

Vanessa stopped dead in her tracks. There was a long pause.

“I feel like it will get her into trouble.” Alexis spoke again.

A cold chill went up Vanessa’s spine.

“You worry too much, Alexis,” Aidan finally said, “I will tame her, one way or another.”

Anger rose in Vanessa’s chest. Tears threatened the corners of her eyes.

_Tame her._ Vanessa repeated the words to herself. _I don’t need to be tamed. Something must be done._

Vanessa takes a few deep breaths, calms herself down, and rounds the corner to meet her mother and Aidan.

“Ah, darling, there you are.” Aidan smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach is eyes. He comes closer and plants a kiss on her cheek, “shall we go to dinner?” Vanessa nods. “Alexis, why don’t you wait for us in the hallway? We will just be a moment.”

Alexis walks to the hall and the door closes behind her. Aidan’s demeanor changes.

“You’re not to embarrass me at dinner, do you understand?”

Vanessa raises her eyebrows, “Embarrass you? When have I ever done that?”

“You haven’t, it’s just a reminder Vanessa.” Aidan smirks.

Aidan turns heads out the door and leads Alexis on the walk to dinner, and Vanessa follows behind, obedient once more.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa has a rough evening at dinner, and the stress gets to her. A mistake on the back of the deck brings a potential new friend into her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is quite on the nose compared to the movie, but I didn't know how to make it different. Thanks again to harlotstarlet for hyping me up. <3

“Aidan Faminoff?” Mr. O’Hara asked.

“That’s me.” Aidan replied, cockiness in his voice.

“ _The_ Aidan Faminoff, the youngest diver to be awarded a gold medal in the 1908 olympics?”

“Pleasure to meet you sir.” Aidan held his hand out for Mr. O’Hara to shake while Vanessa had to suppress yet another eye roll for probably the tenth time so far, and they had only been in the dining room for fifteen minutes.

“Quite a talented man, you have there, Vanessa,” Mr. O’Hara said.

“Oh, yes, he’s quite- something.” Vanessa forced a smile.

Aidan, who’s hand was on the small of her back, pinched the skin just under her corset. She felt her cheeks redden slightly.

“Yes, we’re quite happy.” Vanessa corrects herself, earning her a soft pat on the back, like she’s a puppy.

“Why don’t we go sit, dear.” Aidan said the word _dear_ through his teeth and walked towards the table.

Vanessa reluctantly followed. He pulled out a chair for her, sitting her next to the O’Hara’s twins, Abigail and Benjamin.

_A punishment, no doubt._ Vanessa thinks to herself.

She takes the seat though, not wanting to cause a scene. Across from her is Mr. and Mrs. St. Claire, and next to them is Mr. and Mrs. Heart. Mr. and Mrs. St. Claire were as young as Aidan and Vanessa. They had just gotten married last year and Mrs. St. Claire, or Blair, was already expecting. She was fairly early in her pregnancy, barely even showing. She spent most of dinner talking about how excited she was to settle in America and start their family. She was perky. Vanessa felt another eyeroll coming on but suppressed it with a sip of sweet red wine.

Then another… _then another…_ until her glass was empty. She flagged the wait staff down for a top-up.

“ _Darling,_ ” Aidan started- she hated it when he called her that- “I think you should slow down.”

Vanessa narrowed her eyes but said nothing. She felt her cheeks redden again. People heard. Mrs. O’Hara cleared her throat awkwardly.

“So, Aidan,” Mr. O’Hara said, “do you do much diving anymore?”

Vanessa zoned out after that but continued to sip her wine. So, what if she liked it. Aidan didn’t own her. Yet.

Vanessa wished she loved Aidan. Her mother loved her father. Vanessa always wanted that.

Alexis met Vanessa’s father Archie when they were children. Alexis had moved to London with her mother to work for Archie’s extremely wealthy family. Alexis’ mother was a seamstress. Archie and Alexis were childhood friends that turned into teen lovers. They married when Alexis turned eighteen and they had Vanessa just two short years later. Archie died when Vanessa was fifteen, leaving Vanessa and Alexis with mountains of debt that they had no idea existed. Alexis had to sell just about everything she owned to pay back the debts, leaving her and Vanessa with virtually nothing. That’s why this engagement to Aidan was so important. It was going to save them. Alexis loved Archie with all her heart. Vanessa longed to love someone like that. She will never have that. Not with Aidan.

“Vanessa?” Blair called, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Vanessa, dear, you really need to start paying more attention. It’s rude to ignore people.” Aidan said, his tongue sharp.

Vanessa inhaled deeply, “I apologize, Blair, what did you need?” she said sweetly.

“Oh, I was just wondering if you guys had set a wedding date yet.” Blair smiled softly.

“Oh, uh, not quite. We were thinking early fall though not quite sure of an exact date.”

Blair nodded. “Samuel and I were married late winter last year. It was lovely.” She gave her husband a loving smile, to which he returned with a stiff smile.

To Vanessa, it seemed like a one-sided relationship as well.

Vanessa counted the minutes until dinner was over. She counted the minutes until the men went to the smoking room. The women would stay at the table for tea. She counted the minutes until she was free.

“Mother, I’m feeling quite tired,” she said once the men had gone, “I’m going back to the cabin. Excuse me.”

Vanessa stood and said her goodbyes.

Vanessa walked, but she didn’t walk towards their cabin. Instead she walked up towards the open decks. She needed fresh air. She felt like she was suffocating. The cool air hit her face, and the tension in her neck, her shoulders, it released. Her tears released too. They flowed freely down her cheeks and she took off running to the back of the ship. She couldn’t do this anymore. She needed out. She was unhappy. Couldn’t her mother see that? Aidan was so cruel. He didn’t love her. How could she be with someone who didn’t love her? She ran and ran until she reached the back of the ship, catching herself on the railing. The tears continued to flow; sobs started to escape. Carefully, as though she isn’t sure she still wanted to do this, she climbed up the railing and over the side of the ship. Her dress flailed in the wind.

“Ma’am?” said a sweet voice behind her, startling her.

Vanessa froze for a second and then glanced behind her. Standing before her was the beautiful blonde from the dock earlier in the day. Her hands were up, and her stance was cautious, like she was approaching a wild animal.

“D-don’t come a-any closer.” Vanessa choked between sobs. She didn’t want- no she couldn’t have people close to her right now, she had made up her mind.

The blonde’s eyes were soft. “I can help you; you don’t have to do this.” She sounded genuine, but Vanessa didn’t want it, she didn’t deserve it.

Her heart raced. All she had to do was let go, and it would all be over.

“G-go away.” Vanessa said.

“My name is Brooke Lynn. Brooke. Why don’t you let me help you back over here?” the blonde, Brooke said.

Vanessa shook her head.

“I can’t.” Vanessa said, barely a whisper. How could she? Her mind was made up.

_Was it?_ She asked herself. She shuffles and turns so she’s standing facing the girl.

“If you let go,” Brooke says, calmly, “I’m going to have to jump in after you, and I don’t want to do that, because I’m not a very good swimmer.”

Vanessa let out a short laugh. “You think you’re a comedian?”

“Not at all. Just simply saying facts. Now please, come back over here, we can talk if you like?” Brooke Lynn holds her hand out.

Vanessa hesitates. If she climbs back onto the boat everything goes back to normal. If she jumps, she dies. Does she really want to put her mother through that? She sighs and reaches for Brooke’s hand. She starts to climb over the railing when her left foot slips on her dress. A scream escapes her throat as her body falls. The only thing keeping her from falling is Brooke Lynn. Vanessa is hanging off the back off the back of this giant boat.

“It’s okay! It’s okay, I’m going to pull you up!” Brooke yells to her, but she only half hears it.

Brooke does as she says, she pulls Vanessa up by her arm, and Vanessa helps when she can grab on the railing. Finally, she is safe over the railing. She collapses on the deck in Brooke’s arms, gasping for air. Tears continued to fall. Guards and watchmen rushed over and pulled Brooke away from Vanessa.

“Miss are you ok?” they asked Vanessa.

They helped her to her feet. She’s shaking in the cold, and the tears are still falling, but she manages to nod. Yes, she is okay, but no she isn’t. Why did she try to do that?

“Are you sure?” Another watchman asks.

“Yes, yes I am okay.”

Aidan and a few of the other men from dinner run up to them.

_Where did they come from?_ Vanessa thinks to herself.

“Darling,” Aidan said, voice dripping in fake sweetness, “are you alright?”

Aidan pulled his jacket off and wrapped Vanessa in it.

“I’m fine.” Vanessa managed.

“Are you hurt? Did she hurt you? I want her arrested.”

“What? Aidan, no!” Vanessa raised her voice, no they were not going to arrest Brooke Lynn, “no, she saved me!”

Everyone turned to look at Vanessa, but Vanessa was looking at Brooke Lynn, and Brooke Lynn had panic in her eyes.

“Saved you…how?” Aidan asked.

“I almost fell. a-and she saved me. Please don’t arrest her.”

Aidan sighed, looked visibly disappointed, and said, “fine. How much do you want me to give her? Is $20 enough?”

Vanessa was appalled, “$20? Is that the going rate for saving the lady you’re supposed to be in love with?” She rolled her eyes at him.

“What’s with your tone?” Aidan asked, shortly.

Vanessa ignored him.

“Brooke, I’d like to invite you to dinner with us tomorrow evening in the first-class dining room. As a thank you.”

Brooke hesitated, “I’d like that a lot…I just realized you never told me your name, miss.”

“Oh! Vanessa. My name is Vanessa.” Vanessa smiled her first genuine smile of the whole evening.

“I’d like that a lot, Vanessa.”

“It’s settled. See you tomorrow evening.”

For the first time that day, Vanessa felt light. She smiled and then took Aidan’s arm. He started to lead her back to the cabin, but not after Vanessa took one last glance back at Brooke, who watched the dark-haired girl walk away with a small smile on her lips.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we get a little bit more insight to Brooke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you to harlotstarlet for being my cheerleader!

“Nina!” 

Brooke paced back and forth in their small cabin, her hands frantically wringing the front of her tattered dress.

“Nina, what have I agreed to? I can’t have dinner with them! Look at me!” 

Brooke Lynn’s best friend Nina sat on her bunk, her face was sympathetic. 

“I must find her; tell her I can’t join her for dinner.”

“Brooke, breathe.” Nina said, an attempt to calm her friend, “what’s the nicest dress you brought with you?”

“The blue one.”

“Oh.”   
Nina knew that dress, and it wasn’t fit for dinner in a first-class dining room. 

“That’s it.” Brooke Lynn decides, “I just can’t have dinner with them.”

She rushes out of the cabin and up to the decks. She doesn’t know where Vanessa might be but it’s early, so she has all afternoon to find her. 

It didn’t take long. Brooke was halfway down the open deck when she heard Vanessa’s voice. Vanessa had a very unmistakable voice. It was quite gruff. Brooke Lynn found it charming. It was different than most women Brooke had met before.

“Vanessa!” Brooke called, brightly.

Vanessa was standing middeck looking out over the water. She was talking with a passerby, her beautiful curls flowing in the wind. She looked beautiful. Brooke blushes at the thought.

She blushes even more when Vanessa turns and smiles at her.

“Hello, Brooke!” 

Vanessa was wearing a dark purple colored dress today. Brooke longs for the dresses Vanessa wears. So flowy and elegant, like when she used to dance. 

“Vanessa, I’m not sure I can join you for dinner tonight.” 

Perhaps Brooke imagined it, but Vanessa almost looked disappointed at her words. 

“Why not?” Her voice was flat. She was disappointed.

“Well, I-I don’t have anything nice to wear.” Brooke looked at her feet, her cheeks turned red, “all of my dresses are tattered.”

Vanessa paused, thinking for a moment. She looked Brooke up and down, and Brooke felt her cheeks redden even more. 

“Sorry, Mary, I don’t mean to stare, I think I might be able to help ya though.”

“I’m sorry, but who’s Mary? I’ve told you my name is Brooke, right?”

Vanessa’s face turns a little red, and a giggle escapes her lips. It’s the prettiest sound Brooke has ever heard. 

“I tend to call people Mary sometimes for some reason. It’s somethin’ I’ve always done.” Vanessa shrugs, and Brooke thinks it’s cute. 

She nods.

“So, about that help,” Vanessa says, “come with me.”

She holds her hand out. Brooke takes it and their hands intertwine perfectly together. Butterflies erupt in Brooke’s stomach as she followed the dark-haired girl along the deck. Vanessa led Brooke down a hallway and to the elevator, they went a floor down and walked over a hallway, down some winding corridors, and finally Vanessa was stopping in front of a cabin door. 

“Mrs. Michaels, it’s Vanessa.” Vanessa said, knocking on the door.

A young woman answered the door, smiling. She looked about Brooke’s age and size. It clicked why Vanessa had brought her here.

“Hi Vanessa,” the woman said, she glanced at Brooke, a confused look flashing across her face.

“Kameron, this my friend Brooke Lynn, she’s joining us in the dining room this evening and needs a dress, would you be able to help her?”

Kameron’s face lit up. She nodded.

“Yes, yes of course. Come in, dear.”

Vanessa stepped aside so Brooke Lynn could walk into the cabin. Before Vanessa could follow, the trumpets signaling that it was almost time for dinner sounded, and Vanessa knew she had to get back to her own cabin to get ready with her mother. Her heart sank a little. 

“Brooke, I have to get to my cabin so I can dress with my mother. I will see you at dinner alright?” 

Brooke nods and Vanessa smiles. The butterflies come back and Brooke smiles back. Vanessa disappears out the door and Kameron gets to work.

“So, you’re having dinner in the first-class dining room tonight, huh?”

“Yes,” Brooke says, “as a kind of thank you from Vanessa. There was an incident, and I helped her.”

Brooke didn’t want to say too much, so she left it at that.

“You’re in third class, yeah?” Kameron asked, cautiously. Brooke could tell she didn’t want to pry.

“Erm, yeah. I don’t have many nice dresses.”

“Alright.” Kameron gave her a kind smile. “How about this one? It’ll match your eyes.” 

It was a stunning light blue beaded gown. Brooke nods.

“It’s settled then.” Kameron decides, “Let’s get you cleaned up. Bianca, dear?”

“Yes, ma’am?” called an older looking woman, Kameron’s maid, Brooke assumes.

“Could you please run a bath for miss- I’m sorry dear, what’s your last name?”  
“Oh, erm, Hytes.” 

Kameron gave her an odd look, like she knew. Brooke Lynn blushed a little.

“Right.” She said, slowly, “Bianca, could you please run a bath for Miss Hytes, and then help her dress for dinner?” 

“Of course, ma’am.” 

~*~

Brooke Lynn emerged from Kameron’s bathroom in the blue dress, with her blonde curls pinned back. She felt like a completely different person. 

“I’ll make sure your clothes get back to your cabin, ma’am.” Bianca said with a smile.

“Thank you, Bianca.” Brooke smiled back.

“Are you ready to go to dinner?” Kameron asked. 

Brooke nodded. She was ready to see Vanessa. She took one last look at herself in the mirror. She definitely looked like she belonged. She allowed Kameron to lead the way to dinner. They waited at the foot of the grand staircase for Vanessa. When she finally arrived, Brooke Lynn felt like she couldn’t breathe. Vanessa was stunning. Her black curls were pinned back on one side, her dress was black with red beading, and she wore white gloves. She was positively glowing, and Brooke couldn’t take her eyes off of her. Vanessa’s face lit up when she saw her too. 

“Brooke Lynn!” she smiled and hugged the taller girl. 

“Hi, Vanessa. Thank you again, for the invite.”

“My pleasure, Brooke Lynn, this is my mother, Alexis.”

Alexis was beautiful, Brooke could definitely tell where Vanessa got her looks, but her face was stiff, like something smelled awful. Brooke thought that Alexis looked familiar but couldn’t quite place it. 

“Nice to meet you, Alexis.” Brooke said, extending her hand out.

Alexis didn’t take it at first. 

“You’re the girl who ran into us on the docks, aren’t you?”

Oh. Brooke said to herself, that’s right.

“Mother, which was an accident,” Vanessa said, almost scolding, “right, Brooke?”

“Y-yes, absolutely, we should’ve been paying attention. I’m sorry.” 

Alexis narrowed her eyes and looked Brooke up and down. Brooke’s hand was still extended, and Alexis took it in a quick handshake, but her expression remained unchanged. 

Alexis went on into the dining room and Vanessa exhaled sharply. 

“Sorry about that, Brooke.” She said softly. 

Well, softly for her, which was a normal voice for anyone else. Brooke smiled fondly.

“You met Aidan last night, so I won’t make you do that again.” Vanessa said, and punctuated with a wink, “c’mon, let’s go inside.”

Brooke followed Vanessa to a table towards the center of the dining room. There were a lot of people already seated at the table and it made Brooke Lynn nervous. 

What if someone recognized her? She thought for sure Kameron did but couldn’t be sure. She didn’t think about this when she accepted the dinner invitation.

“Next to my mother is Mr. and Mrs. St. Claire, she’s a few months pregnant. Next to her is Mr. and Mrs. O’Hara, their six-year-old twins Abigail and Benjamin, next to them is Mr. and Mrs. Charles, you know Kameron, and then Aidan. I’ll sit here next to mother and you sit next to me. Is that okay?” 

Brooke smiles. “That’s perfect.” She says. 

She takes her seat between Kameron and Vanessa.

“You look beautiful, by the way.” Vanessa says softly. 

It’s probably the softest Brooke has heard her voice get so far. Her cheeks heat up as she blushes.

“Thank you.” She whispers. 

“It matches your eyes.” The corners of Vanessa’s mouth turn up in a small smile as her eyes lock with Brooke’s.

Aidan clears his throat as though he’s annoyed. 

“ _Darling.”_

Brooke notices Vanessa’s back stiffen. 

“Yes, _dear?”_ Vanessa says, seemingly annoyed. 

Brooke shifts uncomfortably in her seat. 

“I think you should focus on your dinner, don’t you?” 

Vanessa looks down at her plate but says nothing. A pang of sympathy shoots through Brooke’s chest at Vanessa’s obvious unhappiness. 

“So Brooke,” says the young girl across the table, Blair? Brooke thinks, she’s terrible with names, “What awaits you in America?”

“What awaits any of us?” Brooke smiles kindly, “I like to think a better life. I’m a dancer. I hope for better opportunities.”

Blair seems happy with that answer. Brooke is relieved. 

“You’re a dancer?” Mrs. O’Hara asks.

Brooke nods, “Ballet.” 

“Hm.” Kameron hums from Brooke’s left. 

Brooke tenses a bit. She definitely knows.

“I bet you’re good.” Vanessa says in her soft voice. 

Brooke smiles. The conversation is cut short by their first course, and Brooke Lynn is relieved.

Dinner goes smoothly after that. An idea pops into Brooke’s head and she leans to her left to whisper into Kameron’s ear.

“Do you have a pen and paper?”

Kameron nods. Brooke scribbles words on the paper and hands the pen back. Once everyone is so full they don’t think they can eat another bite, the men stand to head to the smoking room.

“The ladies are going to stay for tea now, and you’re more than welcome to stay.” Vanessa says to Brooke Lynn. 

Brooke has other plans.

“I must go back down to the decks below, miss.” Brooke says with a wink. She holds her left hand out to Vanessa to take, the note tucked in between her fingers. She left the note in Vanessa’s hand when she pulled back, said her goodbyes to the other women and left the dining room, not looking back to see if Vanessa opened the note, knowing that she did. 


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did women in the early 1900's say words like shit, ass, and fucked? I don't know. Do I care? Not one bit. They do when they are Vanessa. Enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harlotstarlet you are my hero.

_Meet me where you first learned my name._

Vanessa read the words over again.

_Meet me where you first learned my name._

The back of the boat where she tried to….

Butterflies sprouted in her stomach. What did Brooke have planned?

“Mother,” Vanessa said, “may I be excused? I’m starting to feel a bit sick.”

Alexis narrowed her eyes a bit but gave Vanessa a nod. Vanessa stood and hurried out of the dining room. She first went to her cabin.

“Silk! Kiki!” boomed Vanessa’s loud voice.

“V?” A’keria’s voice called from Vanessa’s bedroom, “are you ok?”

“No- yes- no- shit, Kiki, I don’t know!” Vanessa was now pacing at the foot of her bed, “Brooke Lynn wants me to meet her.”

“Brooke Lynn?” Silky asks, while A’keria says “the third-class girl?”

_Clearly,_ Vanessa thought to herself, _A’keria is the only one who listens to me._

“Yes, the third-class girl.” Vanessa answers, “she wants me to meet her, and I want to. But I don’t know what she expects.”

“You like her.” A’keria states.

“I don’t even know her, Kiki.”

“Well you could like her.”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m marrying Aidan.” Sadness filled her voice when she said Aidan’s name, as it usually did.

She didn’t like saying his name.

“What if you weren’t?” asked Silky.

“What you mean?”

“What if you weren’t marryin’ the assface?”

“Silky, when have you ever seen two women be together?” Vanessa said, rolling her eyes.

Vanessa swears the amount of times she rolls her eyes that they will permanently stick in the back of her head one of these days.

“Girl, you never know, things might be different in America.”

“I doubt it, Silk.” Vanessa said, looking at her feet.

“So, what are you gonna do, V?” asked A’keria.

“I think I’m gonna go meet her. Can you guys cover for me?”

“Like you even gotta ask.” Silky smiled.

_That’s my girls._ Vanessa thought.

~*~

Brooke Lynn stood at the railing at the back of the boat. It was chilly, why did she want to meet here? The romantic in her is kicking herself. Why was she doing this to begin with? It was only going to cause her trouble. She looked out at the night sky, peppered with twinkling stars. The night was beautiful. How long has it been? Maybe she’s not coming. Maybe Brooke shouldn’t have asked her. What if she didn’t want to set foot back here. She almost killed herself back here. Was it too risky? A million questions raced through Brooke Lynn’s head. What if she offended her? She’s engaged for heaven sakes. Women can’t be together anyways. _Women can’t be togeth-_

“Brooke Lynn?”

A voice called, pulling Brooke Lynn from her thoughts. An unmistakable voice. A voice she has grown to like a lot. She smiled and her heart grew warm as she turned around.

“You came!” She smiled.

“I did, I’m sorry it took me so long, I had to go to my cabin to make sure my girls could keep their mouths shut for me.” Vanessa laughed.

It was a loud, booming laugh, quite different than what Brooke heard at dinner when Vanessa’s mother was around. She liked it. A lot.

“What did you have in mind?” Vanessa asked after a short, comfortable silence.

“Well, maybe we could take a walk on the decks?” Brooke suggests, she really wanted to get to know Vanessa.

Vanessa smiled, and it warmed Brooke’s heart like it was the sun. Vanessa and Brooke Lynn walked side by side around the decks one by one getting to know each other. Brooke learned that Vanessa was eighteen, she learned about her maids, A’keria and Silky and about how they were her only friends. Brooke learned that Vanessa and her mother used to be best friends but since the passing of her father there’s been a distance between them. She sounds sad, Brooke notices.

“My mother passed when I was 17.” Brooke says, “and my father died long before that. I’ve been pretty self sufficient for quite a while.”

By now they were in the lower decks, near where Brooke’s cabin was.

“Tell me about when you danced.” Vanessa asks out of the blue, her pinky finding its way linking itself into Brooke’s as they walk.

“I danced professionally!” Brooke’s face lit up, and Vanessa thought it was so adorable, “I did ballet, on pointe actually.”

“You mean like your tippy toes?”

Brooke nodded enthusiastically.

“Well damn, girl, I bet your toes is fucked!”

Brooke’s eyes got really big and she let out a loud yelling laugh.

“What?” Vanessa said, innocently.

“I’m sorry, you just look so proper, I can’t imagine such vulgar words leaving your lips.”

Vanessa’s cheeks turned pink and she looked quite bashful.

“Sorry, I have a tendency to use a bit freer language when I’m not around my mother or Aidan.” Vanessa shrugs.

“That’s alright,” Brooke laughs, “just caught me off guard is all.”

Vanessa hears loud music coming from down the hall and it distracts her.

“What’s that?” she asks, changing the subject.

“Oh,” Brooke Lynn says, “the other passengers down here have been having parties each night. It’s exhausting.”

“A party?! Can we go?!” Vanessa’s eyes lit up like a child’s on Christmas.

Brooke wasn’t much for parties. She thought Vanessa would be tired of parties too, but here she was, raring to go to one.

“You? Want to go to a lower-class party?” she asks, confused.

Vanessa nods, “it sounds like fun. C’mon, Miss Brooke, I can shake my ass with the best of ‘em.”

Brooke feels her cheeks turn hot at Vanessa talking about her way of dancing but chooses to not think about it.

Brooke Lynn hesitates, she really isn’t a fan of parties, but Vanessa looks so excited and just so cute. She never wants to see another expression on Vanessa’s face.

“Okay, we can go to the party.”

Vanessa jumps up and down and claps. She throws her arms around Brooke’s neck in a hug, and then jumps back, grabs her hand and then drags her down the hall towards the music.

With the music comes people, and cigarette smoke. Brooke turns her nose up at the smell. Vanessa instantly started to hop around to the beat of the music, clapping and whooping. Brooke watched in awe as Vanessa looked like she belonged.

The music changed and a jig started. Vanessa grabbed Brooke’s left hand in her right hand and placed her left hand on her waist, and they joined the group of people dancing. They bounced and spun. Brooke felt free for the first time in days. They had spun to the other side of the room when someone reached out and tapped Brooke Lynn on the arm. Startled, she turned around.

“Nina!” she said, excitedly.

She reluctantly let go of the smaller girl to hug her friend.

“This is Vanessa.” Brooke smiled.

“Hi Vanessa,” Nina said, “I’m Nina.”

“Hi, Nina. It’s nice to meet ya.”

Vanessa smiled her warm smile again.

“Brooke, do you have a minute?” asked Nina.

Brooke nods, “will you be okay for a second?” she asks Vanessa.

Vanessa nods and leans against the wall while she walks Brooke walk over to the corner with Nina. She watches Brooke with a warmth in her heart. A warmth that she has never felt before. A warmth that she will _never_ feel with Aidan.

Vanessa was always able to appreciate when a woman is beautiful, but in these days, it is quite uncommon, unlawful, and unacceptable for a woman to love another woman, so those thoughts had never crossed her mind- _until now. Until Brooke._

“Vanessa?”

Hearing her name pulled her out of her thoughts.

Brooke had come back to her and she had concern in her eyes.

“Hey, Mary.” She smiled.

“Are you still wanting to dance or are you ready to go?”

“I think I’m ready to go.” Vanessa nodded.

Vanessa knew what she had to do.

Brooke linked pinkies with her and led her out of the little dance hall and up to her own deck so she could find her way back to her cabin.

“Maybe if you want, we can find each other tomorrow afternoon for a little bit, for a walk maybe.” Brooke suggested.

Vanessa smiled, “yeah, I’d like that.”

The girls hugged, Vanessa breathed her in. She hugged her tightly, let her go and headed back to her cabin.

The second Vanessa entered her room, Silky and A’keria were on her.

“Well?” Silky asked.

“What happened?” A’keria said.

“It was _amazing.”_ Vanessa said, smiling dreamily, “simply amazing.”

A’keria had a smug smile on her face. Vanessa’s dreamy smile quickly turned into a soft frown.

“There’s only one issue though,” Vanessa said, “I don’t think I can see her anymore.”


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa is broken down by her mother and Aidan and feels like she is left with no choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, please direct all complaints to @/vanjiestoes on tumblr. As always, thank you to harlotstarlet for being my cheerleader and my go-to person to bounce ideas off of.

“Good morning, Vanessa.” Aidan said, blandly, as he walked onto the private deck the next morning.

She gave him a half smile in return, followed by a weak “morning.”

“I didn’t see you after dinner last night.” Aidan sat down across from her at the breakfast table.

“I was tired.”

“Tired. Right.” Aidan was skeptical, “you were too tired to spend time with your fiancé, but you weren’t too tired to run around in the lower decks with a gutter rat.”

_Gutter rat?!_ Vanessa says to herself, anger bubbling in her chest.

“How dare- Aidan, you don’t even know her.”

“Neither do you, Vanessa, and frankly, it’s inappropriate. You think I didn’t see the way she was looking at you last night? The way you were looking at _her_ last night? You think that type of relationship is going to be anymore accepted in America than it was in London? You’re out of your right mind if you think so.”

Vanessa remained silent. She felt small. Aidan had a way of making her feel that way.

“You’re not to see her again, do you understand?”

“Aidan, you don’t own me.” Vanessa snapped back, “I am your fiancé, your soon to be wife, but not your property.”

“You’re right, you are my fiancé, and we will say vows, and those vows will say to honor and obey. So, I expect that to have started the day you slipped my ring on your finger Vanessa. I’m telling you, you’re not to see her again, or you will not like the results.”

Vanessa felt tears sting her eyes. She pushed herself back from the table and left the deck.

“Vanessa!” he called after her, but she just kept going.

She got inside the doors of the sitting room and she let the tears fall.

“Vanessa?” Alexis asks, “are you crying?”

“Mother, don’t.”

“Vanessa, come here.”

Vanessa stopped, the tears streaming down her face, her heart shattering.

“What mother?”

“What’s wrong? Why have you left breakfast?”

“Mother, I can’t…..” Vanessa stops herself, she suppresses a sob.

She hates looking so vulnerable, especially in front of her mother.

“Tell me darling, what’s going on.”

Alexis puts an arm around her daughter and guides her to sit on the couch.

“Mother, I can’t marry Aidan. He’s awful. He makes me so unhappy, and he makes me feel like I am an object to be owned.”

Alexis stiffens next to Vanessa. This wasn’t the answer she was expecting.

“Vanessa, you know this isn’t up for discussion.” Alexis said sternly, “we don’t have any other choice. This is our only hope. We have nothing.”

Vanessa feels hopeless.

“Aidan told me about your excursions below decks last night, Vanessa.” Alexis said.

Vanessa didn’t reply.

“I’m extremely disappointed.”

_Of course, you are._ Vanessa thinks to herself.

“You are a lady, Vanessa, and it’s time you started to act it. You’re not to see that girl again. Is that understood?”

“Don’t worry mother, it’s already been decided.”

Vanessa gets up, ignoring her mother’s protests, and disappears into her bedroom. She shuts and locks the door behind her. Vanessa collapses against the door as she dissolves into sobs.

_You are not a person anymore. You are an object. You belong to him. You have no free will._ Vanessa has never felt so small.

“V, baby, what’s wrong?” A’keria says, coming out of the closet over to Vanessa.

Vanessa collapses into her friend’s arms, overcome with sobs.

~*~

Brooke liked walking the upper decks. She liked the open decks, she liked the way the breeze felt in her long blonde curls, the smell of the water as the ship surged onward, and she liked watching the water glitter in the sunlight. Her thoughts drifted to Vanessa. She liked the way the sun looked on Vanessa’s caramel skin. She liked the way Vanessa’s dark curls flowed in the breeze, and the way her honey colored eyes shone in the setting sun. Brooke liked how Vanessa’s smile was bright like the stars in the sky. Brooke liked Vanessa.

As if on cue, Vanessa found her while she was sitting on a bench, their previously agreed-on meeting place. Her eyes were puffy, and their whites were now turned red. Brooke’s heart sank at the obvious evidence that she had been crying.

“Vanessa, what’s wrong?” She asked, concerned.

Vanessa remained silent, the occasional sniffle, and she sat down next to Brooke Lynn. Not ready to talk yet, and Brooke was okay with that. She was patient.

For Vanessa, just being near Brooke helped her, which in turn hurt her at the same time. It didn’t make this any easier.

“Brooke Lynn,” Vanessa starts, knowing if she doesn’t spit it out now, she won’t be able to say it at all, “I can’t see you anymore.”

Brooke felt like she had been kicked in the stomach. She stared at Vanessa as though it’s her first time seeing the younger girl. She avoided looking at her, and she fiddled with her ring on her left hand that Brooke never really noticed until now.

“Vanessa, I- please don’t-, Vanessa!” Brooke stammered, tears threatening her eyes.

“We both know that what’s happening here isn’t innocent, Brooke, and it’s inappropriate. When we get to America, I’m marrying Aidan and we will never see each other again anyways, so we might as well say goodbye now right?”

Vanessa still hasn’t looked at Brooke Lynn, she can’t.

“Last night was amazing,” Vanessa said in her softest voice, and she _finally_ turned to look at Brooke, her eyes and face full of emotion, “and I will cherish the memories forever.”

Vanessa leans in and presses a kiss to Brooke’s cheek. Brooke leaned into the feeling, closing her eyes. When she opened them, Vanessa was gone, and she was alone.


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa and Brooke Lynn deal with the aftermath of Vanessa's decision in their own ways, until Vanessa decides she doesn't care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All my love to harlotstarlet. Hope nobody is tired of me loving her because she is simply the best.

Brooke Lynn never cried.

 _Crying is weakness,_ her mother would say, _you are not weak._

But on this day, the day that Vanessa walked away from her, she shed tears, but only in her cabin in front of Nina and Nina only.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Nina’s kind voice said, “let it out.”

Brooke laid in her bunk facing away while Nina rubbed her back. Brooke didn’t tell Nina what happened. She knew that Nina would have a bunch of questions. Questions that Brooke didn’t have answers to. Nina had never seen her friend like this, not even during the darkest moments in her life, Brooke still remained the composed collected lady everyone saw.

Brooke didn’t even know why this was affecting her so deeply. She had known Vanessa for a mere moment. It was just one of those things she didn’t know how to explain.

“Honey, what happened?” Nina asked.

Brooke only shook her head. She didn’t know how to answer. The tears kept coming, and Nina kept rubbing her back.

On the first-class deck, Vanessa had locked herself in her bedroom with Silky and A’keria and was in just about the same state as Brooke Lynn. She leaned against Silky as A’keria cradled her shoulders.

“We wish things were different, V.” Silky said, holding Vanessa’s hands in hers.

Vanessa’s chest felt empty. She was always lucky. She’s never dealt with this kind of heartbreak. This pain is very foreign to her. When her dad died, that was one type of pain. Loosing the bond with her mother, that was another type of pain. Vanessa’s never been in any type of romantic relationship until her courtship with Aidan, and she doesn’t love Aidan. She will never love Aidan.

Vanessa’s known Brooke for three days. In that three days, she’s felt more like herself than she has in the last several years, and that is what she thinks love is supposed to be.

Silky squeezes Vanessa’s hand and A’keria strokes her hair. With her free hand, Silky dries Vanessa’s tears. The three of them jump when there’s a knock on the door.

“Vanessa? Are you in there?” the sound of Alexis’s voice calls through the elegant room.

Vanessa doesn’t answer. Alexis tries to open the door, but it’s locked.

“Sillky? A’keria?”

They don’t answer either.

“Hm.” Alexis says, and they hear her footsteps as she walks away.

The sobs that Vanessa were holding in escape over once more and the tears spill out. She just can’t hold it in any longer.

~*~

_ April 12, 1912, The Sinking of the Titanic _

__

“A’keria, please wake Vanessa for tea.” Alexis asked.

A’keria nodded, a polite smile on her face. Inside, however, she was calling Alexis every name in the book. Wake Vanessa? That’s a punishment for the worst crime. Vanessa is a monster when it comes to waking up. A’keria had a feeling that it would be a lot worse this time. Vanessa was extremely tired when she decided to nap because of the crying. She had cried all night.

“Vanessa?” A’keria called into the dark room, “V?”

No answer.

 _Shit._ A’keria said to herself.

“Vanessa, it’s time to get up for tea.” A’keria said louder.

Vanessa groaned a little and rolled over. A’keria went and opened the curtains to let light in.

“Bitch, what’re you doin that for?”

“Honey, your momma wanted me to wake you up, so I’m wakin you up.”

“What the-! Get the hell out, Kiki, I’m not goin to tea.” Vanessa said, rolling over and covering her head with the pillow.

“V, don’t make me get Big Silk in here to flip the mattress.”

Vanessa’s head popped up from the pillow.

“Okay, okay. I’m up.”

Vanessa got up and let A’keria do her hair. She let Silky tie her corset, the obedient daughter and fiancé. She let them zip her in her dress and she followed her mother to tea.

They sat at their table with the other women from their dinner group, catching up on the latest gossip around the ship. Vanessa didn’t chime in much. She liked to take in her surroundings of the dining room. It was too pretty. Today, Vanessa noticed a young mother with her young daughter a few tables away. The daughter looked about six. She was slouching, a pouty look on her face. She reminded Vanessa of herself when she was young. Her mother was scolding her about something. The girl looked sad as she straightened up, picked up her teacup with her pinky out, and took a sip.

 _This poor girl_ , Vanessa thinks to herself, _has no idea what’s in store for her future_.

Vanessa knew that it was her duty to bare Aidan’s children, and the last thing she wanted was to bring a child into this world to be miserable like she was in this moment. Vanessa needed to make a choice. She knew what she wanted, but what she wanted was going to hurt her mother. Should she sacrifice her mother’s happiness for her own? Should she choose her own happiness and potentially set her mother up for failure?

 _I suppose I could make it up to her some day?_ Vanessa thinks to herself.

~*~

Brooke is thankful for Nina. Everything she’s been through; Nina has always been there. When she was fired from the ballet company, Nina was there. Nina was her rock.

Brooke was finally able to be a functioning member of the ship the following afternoon. She could stand up and walk without bursting into tears.

As the sun was lowering in the sky, Brooke was making her way towards the front of the ship. She didn’t want to go to the back now. It reminded her of Vanessa. The front, however, it made her feel like she was free, like she was flying. The felt the wind whip through her hair. For the first time since Vanessa walked away from her, she felt a genuine smile on her face.

“Brooke Lynn?”

A chill went up her spine as the all-too familiar voice said her name. Brooke turned around, hoping that her ears weren’t deceiving her. Standing before her, in the flesh, was Vanessa.

“I changed my mind.”

Brooke teared up as she ran to meet the smaller girl. She scooped her up in an embrace and spun her around. Vanessa’s arms tightened around the blonde’s neck. Brooke smiled as Vanessa’s feet met the boat deck once more. Their eyes locked with one another’s, their faces inching closer and closer until _finally_ their lips met in an earth-shattering kiss. Their lips felt like they were made for each other. Brooke felt like the earth had stopped. Vanessa felt like her body was on fire. They both felt like electricity was coursing through their veins. It was the best kiss either one of them had ever had.

“Holy _fuck.”_ Brooke said the second their lips parted.

Vanessa’s face showed pure shock, her jaw dropped, and her eyes were as wide as could be.

“What?”

“You, Miss Brooke Lynn Hytes, Miss Prim and Proper, did not just say such a vulgar word?!” Vanessa said, putting her hand over her chest in mock offense.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it, that kiss was the best fucking thing I’ve ever experienced!” Brooke Lynn said, the smile glued to her face.

Vanessa’s booming laugh filled the air, and she pulled Brooke in for another kiss.


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, we finally get to know Brooke's secret. Oh, and some other stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this is literally so much fun. If I'm updating too fast, I apologize, I'm just really excited. As always, thank you to hartlotstarlet for being my amazing partner in crime :)

Vanessa stood against the railing facing the water. The wind whipped her hair as the sun set behind the water. Brooke stood behind her, arms on each side of her, boxing her in. The air was cold. A shiver went down Vanessa’s spine and goosebumps covered her body.

“You should’ve worn a jacket, baby.” Brooke said, smiling against the side of Vanessa’s head.

“Well excuse me, ma’am, I didn’t expect to be disobeying all of my mother’s rules when I dressed for tea this afternoon.” Vanessa said with a smirk.

“Don’t be cheeky.” Brooke whispered, poking Vanessa in the side.

Vanessa yelped and jumped, making Brooke laugh.

“Come to my cabin.” Vanessa said, looking at Brooke with hope in her eyes.

Hope and- something else. Something that set Brooke’s insides on fire. Brooke nodded, and Vanessa took her hand.

“Silky! A’keria!” Vanessa’s loud voice boomed the moment they got into her cabin. Brooke flinched as the two girls came rushing out of a bedroom like there was a fire.

“What?” Silky said, while A’keria looked at Brooke, mouth hanging wide open.

“Quit gawkin, Kiki!” Vanessa yelled.

Brooke Lynn blushed. She didn’t know if the girl was staring because she thought she was beautiful, or because she was poor, but it embarrassed her a bit.

“You weren’t lyin, V.” A’keria said, “She is pretty.”

Vanessa blushed, Brooke blushed and giggled, and A’keria and Silky let out booms of laughter.

“Alright, alright, you clowns.” Vanessa rolled her eyes, “I need y’all to watch guard for me.”

Silky narrowed her eyes, shifting them back and forth between Brooke and Vanessa.

“Don’t give me that look, bitch.” Vanessa yelled, “Please.” She adds with an angelic smile.

“Baby, pay her no mind,” A’keria says, sounding every bit the mom of the group, “I’ll keep my eye out.”

“Thank you.”

Vanessa grabs Brooke’s hand and pulls her towards what Brooke presumes is her bedroom, which causes butterflies to sprout in Brooke’s stomach. Vanessa shuts the door to the sound of her friend’s whoops and whistles. She blushes. Brooke finds it adorable.

Brooke wonders around the room, looking at the different trinkets and portraits.

“Is this your father?” she asks, pointing to the portrait of the man next to the bed.

Vanessa nods, a fond smile on her face. Her body radiates nervousness. Brooke grabs Vanessa and pulls her so they’re both sitting on the bed. Vanessa sits uncomfortably straight.

“Baby, relax.” Brooke says, softly.

“I would, Mary, but this corset is a torture device. Actually, would you get A’keria? I’d like to take this fucker off.”

Brooke’s cheeks tint pink a little with Vanessa’s vulgar words, she’s still quite not used it.

“I can help you, Vanessa.”

Vanessa’s cheeks flush. She stands and turns so that Brooke can undo her buttons on the back of her dress. It falls to the floor and Vanessa steps out of it. Brooke gets to work on the laces of the corset, loosening and untying each lace. Vanessa slowly felt her midsection going back to normal. This is the most intimate feeling she’s ever had with someone. Brooke kept going until the corset was loose and there was nothing left holding it together. She took it and threw it across the room. Vanessa stood there in her sheer knee length slip, feeling shy and vulnerable. Feeling exposed, knowing that Brooke could see through it. She didn’t care.

Brooke was glad she wore her blue dress today. It was her best dress, while still worn and tattered, it didn’t have any holes. It was long and it buttoned down the front. Vanessa appreciated that, she reached forward and started unbuttoning her dress.

“Is this okay?” Vanessa whispered.

Brooke just nodded, she ran her fingers through Vanessa’s curls, she loved her curls.

“Brooke Lynn.” Vanessa started.

“Hmm?”

“I need to tell you something.”

“Go ahead.”

“I’ve never been with a woman before.”  
Brooke’s eyes softened with understanding. She nodded. “That’s okay.”

“I-I’ve never been with anyone before.” Vanessa added.

Brooke nodded again, she ran her fingertips across Vanessa’s collarbone, pushing her slip strap off her shoulders, “that’s okay too.”

Next thing Vanessa knew, Brooke’s lips were on hers. The kisses were fast, and wet. Vanessa’s skin felt hot. She needed to take the slip off _now._

As if Brooke was reading her mind, she pulled Vanessa’s sheer slip over her head and it left her in her bra and panties. In Brooke’s mind, Vanessa was the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. She looked her over as if to say so.

It took Vanessa a moment to realize that Brooke Lynn’s dress was gone, and she too was only in her bra and panties. Her mouth watered at the site of Brooke’s bare body. She had the dancer’s body, that’s for sure.

Brooke reached out and cradled Vanessa’s cheek.

“You’re beautiful.” She whispered.

Brooke laid Vanessa down on the bed. Vanessa never wanted to forget the view of Brooke’s lean frame crawling over top of her.

~*~

Laying there, hair tangled, skin sweaty, trying to catch their breath, the two women were in heaven. Vanessa never knew happiness, never knew bliss until now. Brooke laid on her back in the center of the bed, Vanessa’s head on her chest. Their clothes had been discarded across the room. Vanessa had decided early on that if Silky and A’keria were listening at the door, she surely didn’t care.

“You took your ring off.” Brooke observed.

“I did.”

“What did you do with it?”

“I hid it in a plant on B deck.” Vanessa said matter-of-factly.

They both paused for a second and then burst out laughing.

“I’m sure darling Aidan would love to know.” Brooke said, mock sweetness in her voice.

“I don’t need it anymore.” Vanessa says softly, “Brooke Lynn, I’m not leaving your side, and when the boat docks, I’m leaving with you. I’ll see if Silky and Kiki wanna come too, I think they’d like Nina, don’t you?”

Brooke nods.

“I don’t want to spend another minute apart. Please let me come with you.”

“Vanessa, I need to tell you something.”

_Uh oh,_ Vanessa thought, _this is it._ A million bad thoughts raced through her mind.

“I used to be apart of first class. A few years ago. I was married to a quite wealthy man. It was when I danced. He, uhm, he caught me in bed with one of the other dancers, a female. He left me. No, he didn’t just leave me, he divorced me and took _everything._ I had nothing left. We were both fired. She never spoke to me after that. Never forgave me. I’ve felt terrible all this time. I was actually even nervous about dinner the other night. I know that Kameron knew who I was. I know she figured it out. She didn't say anything though.” Brooke spoke with sad eyes.

Vanessa felt it in her heart.

“Baby.” She said softly, “don’t dwell on the past.”

“No, I’m not, I just..you’re giving all of this up because of me.” Brooke says, “I can’t help but feel like it’s another life I’ve ruined.”

“Brooke Lynn, no. Absolutely not.” Vanessa’s voice grew stern, “my life was destined for misery if I were to stay with Aidan. He saw me as his property. You’re saving me Brooke, you’re saving me.”

Vanessa searched Brooke’s eyes for understanding. She saw it and Brooke nodded. Vanessa kissed her lips quickly and rested her head against the blonde’s.

Before they could get too comfortable though, the ship shuddered violently.

“What the fuck?” Vanessa said.

There was a loud crash as some things were knocked off shelves.

“Brooke? Vanessa?” A’keria called from the other side of the door, “y’all gettin’ too wild in there?” A’keria giggled.

Vanessa rolled her eyes.

“Hold on, Kiki, we’ll be out.”

Vanessa and Brooke dressed in a couple of Vanessa’s more casual dresses, although Brooke’s was a lot shorter on her, but they made it work, and they came out to the sitting room.

“What was that?” Brooke asked when they got out there.

“We don’t know, we thought it was you.” Silky laughed.

“Ha ha, very funny bitch.” Vanessa said in a voice that suggested that she did, in fact, not find it very funny.

The door to the cabin slammed open, cutting their little party short. Vanessa’s heart hit her gut. In walked her mother and Aidan.

“What’s going on?” Alexis asked, “and what’s she doing here?” Alexis pointed to Brooke.


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for this chapter belongs to harlotstarlet……. (this is also the ONLY chapter she hasn't preread before I posted because I couldn't get it to send to her. Irony? hm.) Enjoy!

“Vanessa?” Alexis says again.

Vanessa hasn’t answered her, _can’t_ answer her. Her words are caught in her throat.

“Vanessa, I thought we told you to stay away from her.” Aidan said, his voice dripped with venom.

Brooke’s hand found Vanessa’s behind her back where the others couldn’t see, and it gave her courage.

“Mother, Aidan,” Vanessa said, like nothing wrong, “I thought you guys were at dinner.”

“Don’t act cute, Vanessa.” Alexis warned.

“Mother, I’m not. I’m simply wondering what could cause you guys to come back from dinner so suddenly.” Vanessa’s voice was almost angelic.

Brooke had to stifle a laugh. She almost didn’t recognize Vanessa’s voice.

“Vanessa something bad has happened. The ship has hit an iceberg.” Alexis’ voice shook, “they’re saying the ship is going to sink. They’ve sent us here to get our life jackets.”  
Panic raced through Vanessa’s body.

_The ship is sinking?_ She thought to herself.

Brooke’s hand tightened around hers, and Vanessa turned to face her, not caring about her mother and Aidan being in the room.

“We have to find Nina.” Vanessa said, “we have to get our life jackets, and we have to get Nina and get to the lifeboats.”

Brooke nodded, and Silky and A’keria went to grab their life jackets. Aidan and Alexis were yelling and protesting but Vanessa was ignoring them. She couldn’t listen right now.

Without another word, the four young women left the cabin, leaving Alexis and Aidan behind, mouths agape and unsure where to go next.

Brooke led A’keria, Silky and Vanessa through the crowds of panicking passengers to the lower decks to her cabin she shared with her best friend Nina. Her hand never left Vanessa’s. She had her girl. She wasn’t losing her now.

They got to Brooke’s cabin and Nina was throwing things around looking for her and Brooke’s more important possessions.

“Nina!” Brooke Lynn shouted, pulling Vanessa into the room, and grabbing Nina into a hug. She still didn’t let go of Vanessa’s hand.   
“Brooke Lynn!” Nina said, her voice stricken with panic, “the ship is sinking, we have to go!”

“We know, that’s why we came to find you, we need a plan. We have to stick together.”

All the women nodded.

Vanessa was strong, she had been through a lot in her life, many ups and downs. From losing her father, to selling her things, and getting engaged to Aidan. Looking back, the recent was mostly downs, but it only made her stronger. But now, now she had Brooke Lynn, and she knew that every single bad thing in her life brought her here so that she could love this woman. She’s not about to lose her yet.

Brooke leads them to the open deck, it’s chaos as expected. The women stay huddled close together- careful not to be separated.

“We have to get on a lifeboat.” Nina says, although not hopeful. She has a feeling it’s not going to be as easy as it seems.

Nina is right. When they get closer to the side of the deck, they learn that they are only boarding _first-class_ women and children into the lifeboats.

“So, here’s what we are going to do. Brooke, Vanessa, you are _both_ first class, yeah?” Nina said nodding her head.

Brooke nodded, and Vanessa caught on slowly, but nodded as well.

“Okay, so you’re going to get in live boats together, and then Silky, A’keria, and I are going to wait until they call or the lower classes, and then we will meet you on the rescue ship, or we will meet you in America, but either way we will meet you, okay?”

Vanessa and Brooke Lynn both felt tears come to their eyes at the thought of being separated from their friends. For he first time since leaving Vanessa’s cabin they let go of each other to pull their loving friends into tight hugs.

Vanessa had full on tears in her eyes. Silky and A’keria were her girls, they had been with her for a long time. Their mothers worked for her family, too. They had never been apart.

“V, baby, it’s okay.” A’keria soothed, rubbing the smaller girl on the back, “we’ll be together again soon, promise.” A’keria kissed Vanessa on the top of the head.

“Stop cryin, ya mongoose.” Silky said.

Vanessa choked on a sob and let out a screaming laugh as she smacked Silky on the arm.

“Shut up, bitch.” Vanessa said, affectionately.

Brooke Lynn watched Vanessa with nothing but love in her eyes, but finally she turned her attention to Nina. Nina cradled her left cheek and kissed her right.

“Be careful out there, Brooke.”

“You too, Nina.”

The two women hugged without exchanging a lot of words, they didn’t need to.

“Love you.” Brooke said softly, to which she got an equally soft, “love you” back.

Brooke got with Vanessa and Nina stood with A’keria and Silky and they went their separate ways.

Vanesa and Brooke found a thinning area and decided to stand there to try to get onto the lifeboats. Brooke wraps her arms around the smaller girl who, once again, forgot her jacket. The blonde smiles at the thought.

“ _There they are!”_ yells a man’s voice.

Brooke heard, but didn’t think anything of it until rough hands were pulling at, ripping her small Vanessa away from her.

“What the- Vanessa!” she yelled.

“Brooke Lynn! What’s happen- get your hands off me!” Vanessa yelled.

“Oh, Vanessa, thank heavens you’re alright!” it was Alexis, and behind her stood Aidan.

_This can’t be good,_ thought Brooke.

The man had a tight grip on Brooke’s arms.

“Yes, officer, that’s the woman who kidnapped my fiancé! No doubt trying to find an easy way off the sinking ship.” Aidan said, fake concern in his voice.

Vanessa and Brooke’s mouths hung open.

“What?!” Vanessa yelled, “Aidan, she didn’t kidnap me, and I’m not your fiancé anymore!”

“Darling, you don’t have to lie for her, it’s alright.” Aidan said, running his fingertips up and down Vanessa’s cheek, a threatening look in his eye, “officer I want her taken below decks. I don’t care what happens after that.”

“Yes, Mr. Faminoff.” Said the officer, “c’mon.”

The officer manhandled Brooke, all while Brooke and Vanessa both were screaming for help, not a single soul listening.

“How could you?!” Vanessa screamed at Aidan, “the ship is sinking, you ignorant bastard! Do you realize that she could drown below deck?!” Vanessa was unable to contain her tears, “and you!” she turned to her mother, “how could you?! You’d rather me be with someone who treats me like trash as long as you have a lavish lifestyle than have to actually work for what you want? I’m disgusted.”

“Vanessa, you’re being quite dramatic.” Alexis rolled her eyes.

“No, mother, you’re being quite stupid.” Vanessa couldn’t stop herself now. It was all too much.

“Vanessa, let’s just get in the lifeboat.”

Vanessa hadn’t even noticed that it was their turn to get in. She wasn’t going to do it though. She couldn’t. Not when Brooke was just taken from her. Her mother walked over, and the men helped her get in, but Vanessa was glued to the spot.

“Vanessa, what are you waiting for?”

“Are you that fucking oblivious, mother?” Vanessa yelled, not even embarrassed that she was using such terrible language in front of everyone, “I am not getting in this boat with you.”

Vanessa turned to leave, she needed to find the others so they could get Brooke. She didn’t get far before Aidan grabbed her left arm, tightly. She was surely going to have a bruise.

“Vanessa, you are to get in that lifeboat with your mother.” Aidan tried to use his authoritative voice.

“Aw, that’s cute.” Vanessa said, she was done caring. She brought her right arm out, and hooked around, punching Aidan square in the jaw.

“Son of a bitch!” he yelled, holding it with both hands.

Vanessa took this opportunity to take off running and never look back. Her shoulders relaxed, and she felt like she might actually, finally be free of Aidan. Now there was the task of getting her Brooke Lynn back. She had to find Silky, A’keria and Nina.

Vanessa finally found the three women close to where they left them. They were shocked to see her.

“V, baby, what’s wrong?” A’keria asked, examining Vanessa’s tearstained face.

“Aidan and my mother found us in the crowd with officials. Aidan told them Brooke kidnapped me. He had them take her below decks. We have to save her.”

The three women looked back with horrified faces.

“Below decks? But the ship-.” Nina started.

“The ship is sinking, Nina, it’s sinking and if we don’t get to Brooke then Brooke is going to sink too. Come on, we have to go!” Vanessa said, grabbing which ever hand she could, which was Silky’s and ran towards the main staircase.

She was going to save her girl.


	9. Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kidnapping? Are you insane? One, she’s a grown woman, and two, why would I do such a thing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long. Thank you harlotstarlet for being there to bounce my ideas off and once again my cheerleader.

_“There they are!” yells a man’s voice._

_Brooke heard, but didn’t think anything of it until rough hands were pulling at, ripping her small Vanessa away from her._

_“What the- Vanessa!” she yelled._

_“Brooke Lynn! What’s happen- get your hands off me!” Vanessa yelled._

_“Oh, Vanessa, thank heavens you’re alright!” it was Alexis, and behind her stood Aidan._

_Oh dear,_ Brooke thought to herself.

But something felt off.

“Yes, officer, that’s the woman who kidnapped my fiancé.” Aidan said, his voice was thick with fake concern, and Brooke had never wanted to punch someone so badly in her life.

Everything happened so fast, officers were grabbing her and grabbing Vanessa, pulling them apart. Vanessa screamed and it rang in Brooke’s ears. It was a scared scream, a painful scream. She wanted to hold Vanessa and never let her go. Officers grabbed Brooke by the arms, and she couldn’t focus on what was happening, couldn’t fight back. All she could focus on were the tears in Vanessa’s eyes, the pain in her face. She didn’t even realize that the men were taking her away.

“What are you- where are you taking me?!” Brooke yelled, finally finding her voice.

“Even in a crisis, kidnapping is still an offense ma’am.”

“Kidnapping? Are you insane? One, she’s a grown woman, and two, why would I do such a thing?”

“We know that you are steerage. Please don’t try to act like you belong in first class.”

“Where are you taking me?” Brooke asked.  
“Below decks.”

“Are you insane? The ship is sinking. How can you take me down there? Are you planning to take me there and let me die?”

No answer. Brooke felt helpless. The men had tight grips on her arms, surely, she’d bruise. That didn’t matter, though, not if she was dead.

The men manhandled her down below the decks. The lower deck hallways were empty.

_Probably empty because the ship is going down._ Brooke thinks.

“In here.” One of the men says, pushing her into a small office on the left.  
Luckily, they were high enough that the water wasn’t to this level yet.

“So now what do we do with her?” one man asked the other.

Brooke had to stifle a laugh. These two men with the IQ of doorknobs were here to decide her fate and they couldn’t figure out what to do with her.

“Mr. Faminoff said we leave her.” Said the other man.

They both nodded and grabbed her arms, they one reached for handcuffs and the other held her wrists. Brooke was strong, she tried to fight, but they were stronger. She had no hope. They cuffed her arms around a pole in the corner of a room and left her there.

Panic rose in her chest. She’s going to die. She is going to die in this sinking ship because she fell in love with a woman and the dreadful man she was going to marry didn’t like it, and he made up an awful story.

Brooke is going to die.

Brooke Lynn Hytes didn’t cry. She never cried. She was always taught that it meant weakness. But in that moment, Brooke Lynn cried. She cried for Nina, who would have to explore the new land alone. She cried for Vanessa who, a few hours ago, had been so happy to have a new prospective on what her life in America was going to be like now that she had Brooke. She cried for A’keria and Silky, who she didn’t even know, but she wanted to so bad. She cried for-

“ _BROOKE LYNN?!”_ yelled four very loud voices out in the hallway, cutting off Brooke’s thoughts.

“BROOKE LYNN WHERE ARE YOU?!” this voice was unmistakable. It was Vanessa.

“IN HERE!” Brooke yelled back, hoping she was loud enough, hoping that those men hadn’t locked the door.

The door burst open and Brooke started to cry even harder as Vanessa rushed in the room. Vanessa flung her arms around Brooke’s neck.

“Baby,” Vanessa whispered, face stained with tears, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Vanessa pressed kisses to Brooke’s temple while she continued to whisper soft apologies. Nina, Silky and A’keria stood near the doorway, giving the younger girls their space.

“Brooke Lynn,” Nina said, noticing the handcuffs for the first time, “did they leave the key in here somewhere?”

Brooke looked confused at first, but she soon realized what Nina was saying.

_Crap_ , Brooke thought.

She wasn’t going anywhere until they got the cuffs unlocked.

“I don’t- I don’t know.” Brooke finally said. 

A’keria and Silky nodded and then started completely taking the room apart. Vanessa let out one of her loud cackles. After a few minutes of turning the room upside down, they couldn’t find it.

“Here, I got it.” Vanessa said, and she pulled some pins from her long dark curls.

Brooke suppressed giggles, where did Vanessa learn how to do this? Vanessa’s eyebrows were furrowed, and her tongue was between her teeth as she concentrated. The cuffs clicked and one side opened. Vanessa repeated with the other side. Brooke was free.

Brooke was free and she wasn’t going to die. The ship was sinking, and she wasn’t going to go with it. "How did you learn to do that?" Brooke asked, amazed. Vanessa looked at Silky and A'keria and started to giggle. "Go on, baby, tell her." A'keria says. "I used to break into my dad's liquor cabinet and A'keria, Silks and I would get drunk." Vanessa giggled. Brooke laughed so loud. She needed that laugh. 

“Shit!” Vanessa said, looking at her feet.

Brooke looked too.

“Damn,” she muttered.

Water was starting to leak into the room.

“Let’s go!” Nina said, leading the girls to the door.

“Were do we go now?” Brooke Lynn asks.

The water was rising up past their feet. Vanessa grabbed Brooke’s hand. She wasn’t letting her go, not now.

“This way,” Nina said, pointing down one of the hallways.

They ran down the hall to the stairwell. It led straight up to the decks where chaos was unraveling around them. The different classes were screaming and mixing together. The four girls huddled together tightly. They had to find a boat. The front of the ship was sinking rapidly.

“There!” Silky yelled.

She pointed to a boat to their right with a few open seats, they rushed that way. Silky threw elbows and pushed people out of the way. Everyone was rushing around they didn’t notice that there were open seats in this boat.

“Ma’am we only have room for four more.” The crewman said to Silky.

“We have five though.” Said A’keria.

“I’m sorry we only have room for four.”

The group of women look at each other. They have limited options.

“I’ll stay.” Nina says.

The other four turn to look at her, bewildered.

“Nina, no! We all go or none of us!”

“Ladies come on!” the crewman says.

“I will find another way and I will meet you on the rescue ship or in America, like the original plan.” Nina sounds confident, sure of herself.

Brooke is sure of her; she searches her friends face for any hesitation. The world stops for them, and Nina nods. Brooke knows that her friend will be okay.

“Okay,” Brooke says, “Nina will meet us, it’s okay. Let’s go!”

Brooke hugs her friend goodbye for the second time of the night and follows the other three into the lifeboat.

“Everybody seated?” the crewman said, “lower the boat!”

The crew starts to lower the boat, but the crowd starts to get more chaotic. They start trying to rock the boat that Vanessa and the others are in. Different passengers yelling _let us on,_ and _there’s room for more_ called through the night.

Someone pulled out a knife and started to cut the ropes that were slowly letting the lifeboat down. Vanessa tried to hold on tight to the boat, and to Brooke’s hand. The rope is cut and the boat tips forward. Before the passengers in the boat can stop themselves, they are tumbling out of the lifeboat into the cold water below.

Vanessa hits the freezing water and the panic hits again. Then Vanessa remembers. Brooke said she wasn’t a very good swimmer.


	10. Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long. But here it is. It's a lot shorter than the others. As always, thank you to harlotstarlet for all your help, you're so good to me!

_ Cold….so cold,  _ Vanessa thinks to herself, trying and failing to keep her head above the water that feels like it's stabbing her with a thousand knives. 

All of the people around her are pushing and pulling, and she can't keep her head above the water. It takes a moment to realize that Brooke isn't holding on to her anymore. Panic rises in her chest. 

_ Brooke isn't a good swimmer.  _ She remembers the words the blonde spoke to her the first night they met, the night Vanessa almost jumped. 

"Brooke Lynn!!" Vanessa screams when she can keep her head above water for more than a few seconds, "Brooke Lynn where are you!?"

Vanessa kicks her little legs but with her many layers of dress, it's difficult and she's getting tired. Others in the water are getting the lifeboat turned back over and soon she will be able to get back in. 

"Brooke!" She calls again, trying to look around but it's so dark.

It's dark and it's cold. Vanessa feels her body going numb. She doesn't know how long she's in the water. It's so dark, there are so many people and she can't see that far in front of her. She keeps yelling for her friends. Her arms are flailing, but she feels someone grave her by the arms and she's being lifted into the lifeboat. 

"Vanessa!" Silky and A'keria said in unison, voices thick with relief.

"Guys, I lost Brooke!" Vanessa panics, "I was holding her hand and then I wasn't! I keep calling her name but it's too loud!" 

The three young women huddle together to try to muster up any warmth they can, and the boat starts to move.

"No!" Vanessa screams, "we can't go! Brooke!" 

Tears stream down Vanessa's cold cheeks, her voice hoarse from the cold and the excessive yelling. 

"V, baby, we have to get going otherwise the ship will pull us down," A'keria said, stroking Vanessa's freezing hair, "we looked for her when we were looking for you, we- we didn't see her anywhere." A'keria sounded sad. 

"No. No no. We have to find her. We have to get her. We can't leave her behind, guys, we can't!"

Vanessa starts to shake, whether it's from the cold or from unescaped sobs, she's not sure, but she can feel her world crashing around her. Everything her and Brooke went through tonight, this is how it ends. Vanessa places her hand over her heart, because otherwise she's not even sure it's still beating. Emptiness. That's what she is feeling. 

"But...Brooke…." 

A'keria kisses Vanessa's forehead, "I'm sorry, baby, we tried." 

This was a new pain to Vanessa, with it came a new sense of emptiness.

As the boat moved away from the ship, Vanessa's eyes scanned the waters for Brooke, but it was so dark she could hardly see. The ship was sinking and they all had to sit there and watch it. They didn't know when the rescue ship was coming. They didn't know how long they were going to have to wait. They were cold, and scared. The scene in front of them was tragic, as were the sounds. 

As the lights on the ship flickered off, and they were left in complete darkness, Vanessa knew that her sliver of hope for finding Brooke was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come clown with me on tumblr @/vanjiestoes


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is almost the end, I think I will do one more chapter.  
> Harlotstarlet, you are a godsend, I cant wait for you to read the rest of this!

_ It's quiet…  _ The ship had officially gone down, and with it went all of the lights and hundreds and hundreds of people. It was cold, it was dark, and it was really quieting down. 

_ That's because people are dying,  _ She thinks to herself,  _ they're freezing to death. _

She lays on this wooden..board? She's not sure, but she lays there staring at the sky, waiting. Waiting and praying for a miracle. 

_ They have to come back _ , she thinks,  _ if they don't, I'm going to die out here.  _

She thinks of her mother, and her father, who she would see again if she died. She thinks of all of the lives lost to the ocean tonight. The poor souls who never had a chance. She thinks of dancing, oh how she misses it. She thinks of the babies she will never have, the pets she will never care for. 

Most of all, she thinks of Vanessa, who she doesn't even know is okay or not. Vanessa could be dead too. She doesn't know. She hopes that she is safe. 

As for herself, she continues to pray for a miracle. 

In the distance she hears voices, but they sound like they are miles and miles away. Could it be? Could someone be coming back? She sees a search light, she tries to move, her body is stiff, her voice hoarse and her throat raw. But she needs to get their attention. They're getting closer and closer. She has to do something quick if she wants them to find her. She can't scream, she tries but no sound comes out. She looks around her. Her heart aches, everyone around her is frozen to death. There's a crewman with a whistle frozen in his mouth. That will have to do. She slides off of her floating raft and swims the best she can over to the crewman. She gets the whistle out of his mouth, all while uncontrollably shaking, it's just so cold, she musters all the breath she can get, and she blows the whistle. It's not enough at first, but she finally gets some good sound out of it, and it makes the men on the lifeboat turn around. They've found her. They've found her and she is going to be safe. 

The men help her out of the water and into the boat. They wrap her in the many blankets they have, but it doesn't help warm the bone-chilling coldness that she is feeling right now. She's numb in so many ways. She is scared. 

She is still thinking about Vanessa. She needs her to be safe. 

~*~

Brooke must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, it was light out and the life boat was floating next to a new ship. The sun was warm on her face, but her bones were still cold, and her heart froze when she thought of Vanessa. 

_ Vanessa.  _ Who she may never even see again, who she doesn't even know is alive or not. 

Or Nina, her best friend, her family. These are people she loves and she doesn't even know if they made it out of the water alive. 

"Miss?" Says one of the crewman, pulling Brooke from her thoughts, "we are going to help you up onto the ship now, alright?" 

Brooke doesn't think she can speak yet so she just nods, and let's them help her.

Ths crew on the rescue ship help her up and wrap her up in more blankets. They instruct her where to sit while she waits. She watches the people around her, but sees no familiar faces. 

The more she searched unfamiliar faces the more her heart broke, the more she lost hope that Vanessa was alive, that Vanessa was safe. Last night seems like a million years ago, and their future seems like a distant dream. 

"Ma'am?" Says a stewardess softly, careful not to startle Brooke, "can I get your name?"

"M-my name?" Brooke asks, taking a second to catch up and process what the young girl is asking.

The girl nods, "yes please."

Brooke thinks for a second. She doesn't have to be a Hytes anymore. America can be her fresh start in many ways, starting with a new last name. 

"Mateo. Brooke Mateo." She says, voice strong with confidence.

The stewardess smiles, and writes her name on the list. 

"Wait a moment, it looks like we have a few Mateos on the list here."

Brooke's heart speeds up. 

"Vanessa?" She asks without thinking, "is one of them Vanessa?!"

The girl nods.

"Please, please take me to her. Help me find her." Brooke pleads as tears well up in her eyes. 

The stewardess holds her hand out to help Brooke up off the board floor. She leads her across the deck and down the stairs and through a few hallways until they enter a large dining hall.

"I believe this was where I took her name." 

Brooke nodded and thanked the stewardess. The dining hall was somewhat packed but Vanessa was a loud person and Brooke was pretty sure Vanessa would still be with Silky and A'keria, and so her volume would increase tenfold. She just had to keep her eyes and ears open. 

Finally, at the back of the hall, she saw her. Vanessa looked so small, she was sitting between Silky, leaning her head on Silky's shoulder, while A'keria stroked her hair. Her face was blank, her eyes were unseeing. She looked like she had been crying. 

Brooke felt her heart break. Her poor girl. She looked to Silky's left. 

_ Nina! They found her!  _

More tears threatened Brooke's eyes and she ran towards her family. One by one they all looked up at the blonde figure running towards them. Vanessa was the first one to jump up. 

"Brooke!" Vanessa screams.

Vanessa jumps into Brooke's arms and Brooke spins her around. The hug continues when Nina, Silky and A'keria join, one giant group with Vanessa and Brooke in the center. 

Brooke Lynn Hytes never cried, but Brooke Lynn Mateo sure did that day. 


	12. Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They all lived happily ever after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. This is it. Writing this has been so fun for me! I couldn't have done it, though, without the help of harlotstarlet. Love you, bby. Thank you to everyone who read along and commented, it means the world!

"Vanessa," Brooke said softly, careful not to startle the smaller girl too much, she was sleeping so soundly, "Vanessa, I have to go, my class starts in an hour."

Brooke tried not to wake her abruptly, but knew that if Vanessa woke up and Brooke wasn't there, she would panic. 

It's been a year and a half since the incident with the Titanic, and they both still had nightmares.

Brooke gently shook Vanessa's shoulder, "Vanessa, darling," she called and Vanessa started to stir, eyes opening slowly, "good morning, sunshine." Brooke said softly.

"Morning." Vanessa sat up in the bed.

"I didn't want to wake you, but I didn't want to cause you a panic."

Vanessa nodded and leaned in, Brooke met her in the middle for a quick kiss. 

"I'll see you tonight, then, yeah?" 

Brooke nods and grabs her bag by the door. Brooke started teaching dance at a local studio about a year ago, and it makes her so happy. Her and Vanessa live with Nina, Silky, and A'keria in a small town outside of New York City. To the outside they looked like a group of friends who live together to save on housing, but on the inside they were a family. 

Brooke arrives at the studio early, but still not early enough to beat Lyla, a 10 year old girl in her class. 

"Good morning, Ms. Brooke," Lyla calls.

"Good morning, Lyla, you're early as usual."

Lyla avoids Brooke's eyes for a minute but then says, "uh, yeah. I am."

Brooke opens the doors to the studio and immediately notices that the young girl isn't her normal, bubbly self. 

"Lyla, are you ok?" 

Lyla hesitates, looks down at her feet and fiddles with the hem of her dress. Brooke becomes quite concerned and she kneels down in front of the girl. 

"Lyla, what's going on? You can tell me anything."

Brooke has really grown to care for her students in the time she has taught dance, so it breaks her heart when tears well up in the child's soft eyes. 

"My mom and dad, there was an accident and they died."

"Oh my goodness," Brooke gasps, pulling Lyla into a hug, "I'm so sorry."

"I don't have any other family other than an elderly aunt who can't take care of me. She's letting me stay for a few days but then she is taking me to the orphanage in the city. This is going to be my last class, Miss Brooke."

Silent tears stream down Lyla's face and Brooke's heart breaks a little more. This poor girl lost her parents, and her home, and now she will have to lose dance. Brooke wishes there was something she could do.

~*~

Being a midwife had been Vanessa's dream ever since she was a little girl, but her mother said there was no place for a woman in the workplace, had said that her husband would support her. It made Vanessa feel worthless. 

However, when she got to America, she was able to fulfill her dream of delivering babies. She's sure her mother would have a fit, but she doesn't even know if her mother made it alive. 

Vanessa wakes to Brooke's soft words and a few gentle shakes and she knows it's time to start the day. She kisses her love goodbye and then sets upon her own morning routine before heading to work herself.

Vanessa works hard that day. She shows up at a couple's house for a routine checkup only to find out that the mother had gone into labor early in the morning, and her contractions were close to five minutes apart. Quickly. Vanessa prep's the mother for delivery, and they wait until it's time. 

The mother struggles a little but is able to bring her baby into the world. This is Vanessa's favorite part, hearing the tiny cries leave the tiny lungs, watching the new parents count the fingers and the toes. It warms her heart. She watches the new mom bind with the baby, and another feeling washed over her. Was it jealousy? She wasn't quite sure. Was it fair of her to be jealous of this woman? 

_ Definitely not.  _ She thinks to herself. 

Especially not when she consciously made the decision to love a woman, knowing that they could never have a real family. 

This weighs heavily on Vanessa's heart as she makes her journey home that evening. She loves Brooke very much, nothing will change that, but a part of her feels like something is missing. She always thought she would be a good mom. She wouldn't let herself act like her own mother. 

_ I guess I'll never know.  _ She thinks. 

~*~

"Hi Nessa," Brooke greets Vanessa as she comes home, it's just the two of them and there's a beautiful dinner laid out on the table. 

"Hi Brookie, you cooked?" Vanessa kissed her girlfriend as she slid off her shoes. 

"Yes, and we are alone."

"My goodness, how did you make that happen?"

"A few dollars and a new movie at the cinema." Brooke laughs. 

Brooke pulls the chair out for Vanessa who kisses her again before she sits down. 

"How was your day?" Brooke asks, sitting across from her. 

"Delivered a baby girl. She had some strong lungs too." Vanessa answers softly, "how was yours? How was your class this morning?"

Brooke hesitates, her words stuck in her throat. 

"Remember Lyla?" She asks. 

Vanessa thinks for a minute but then remembers, "the sweet girl with the braids?"

Brooke nods, "that's her. Her parents were in an accident and they didn't make it."

Vanessa's speechless for a moment.

"That poor girl," she says, when she finds her words, "what's going to happen to her?"

"Well she doesn't have any family except an elderly aunt who can't take care of her. She said that her aunt is going to send her away in a few days, that today was going to be her last dance class."

"Oh no, that's terrible." Vanessa's heart breaks for the poor child, and an idea floats around in her head, but she's afraid to say something, doesn't know how Brooke will react.

"I had an idea, and I wanted to discuss it with you first, and then A'keria, Silky, and Nina."

"You want her to come live here, don't you?" Vanessa asks, trying to keep the edge of hope off her voice. 

Brooke simply nods, fearful of a negative reaction. 

"Okay," Vanessa says, "yes."

Brooke's heart soars, "really? I know it's crazy, but the girls lived in this town her whole life." 

"It is crazy, Brookie, but it's going to work out."

"I already talked to Lyla's aunt, and she is content with the idea."

"Even better. Now we have to get the others to agree."

They did agree, and a few days later, Lyla was moving in with them, sharing a room with Nina. It was an adjustment for all, but they made it work. Brooke and Vanessa kept the couple interactions to a minimum as to not scare her, and she settled in just fine. 

One day coming home from ballet class, though, Lyla asked Brooke if she and Vanessa were in love. 

"Why would you ask that, dear?" 

"You look at each other a lot like my mommy and daddy did and they were in love." Lyla shrugged. 

"Well that's quite an observation. Would it be okay if Vanessa and I were in love?" 

Lyla was quiet for a minute while she thought about her answer, "well, it wouldn't bother me any. Is it supposed to be a bad thing?"

"Lyla, there are people in the world who don't think women should love other women and men should love other men."

"Why do they care so much?"

"That's a good question, honey, but I don't know."

Lyla is quiet for another minute, processing the words, "I think that if two people are happy, then they can love whoever they want."

Brooke's heart warms at the child's words, such a bright young girl, who was also quite loving and accepting, "I'm glad to hear you say that, Lyla. I love Vanessa an awful lot."

"Yeah, I can tell." Lyla grins. 

By now they have walked almost the whole way home, stopping about a block away. 

"I'll race ya home!" Lyla yells, then takes off running. 

"No fair! You're cheating!"

Brooke takes off after the girl, but is unable to catch up until Lyla is stopped on the stoop of their home.

"Well c'mon," Brooke says, "we have to go cook dinner."

Brooke and Vanessa have come a long way since their time on the Titanic. They've learned and grown, and with the help of their little family, they are happy and exactly where they're meant to be.


End file.
